Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
