Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
