if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
