Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
