i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
