That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
