Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
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