Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
