is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
