Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Randomize
