What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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