Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
