It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
