Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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