So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Randomize
