First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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