she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
