the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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