White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
