I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize