It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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