okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
