Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
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