This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
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