you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize