Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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