You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
