im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
