last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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