So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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