I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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