you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
