Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
