i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Swine flu is the new snow day.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize
