We're facebook friends in real life
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Randomize
