i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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