just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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