I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
