And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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