It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
