Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
God, I missed his penis.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize