god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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