So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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