Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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