You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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