we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
