I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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