i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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