its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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