Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
