Redeem this text for a blowjob
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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