Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter