grandma shit on top of the toilet
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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