she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.