Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(505): View more from New Mexico

the new term for farting is butt boxing.

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(217): View more from Illinois

he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?

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(907): View more from Alaska

There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha

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(517): View more from Michigan

at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.

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(662): View more from Mississippi

Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.

(662): View more from Mississippi

Challenge accepted. See you in hell.

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(757): View more from Virginia

I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.

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(734): View more from Michigan

Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.

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