I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
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