Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk of Shame today included voting.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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