FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
