so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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