Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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