I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Quick, to the slutcave!
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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