Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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