omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
