we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
