If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
