Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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