I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Randomize
