he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
